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New England dining >>> Chinese restaurants in Massachusetts
The unofficial Massachusetts
great Chinese food tour
By Eric H.
A wise old man once told
me that a Nebraskan warehouse shipped Chinese food via pipeline
to every Chinese restaurant in the United States.
Given the uniformity of the
Americanized Chinese cuisine, I believe this to be true. What
is also true is the odd charm the typical American Chinese restaurant
offers: the plastic tiki Gods, waterfalls, extensive menu selection
and obligatory fortune cookies at the end of each meal.
Massachusetts is the Chinese
restaurant center for New England. Forget about Maine, Vermont,
Connecticut, Rhode Island and New Hampshire -- for the most part,
their Chinese restaurants pale in comparison to Massachusetts.
Please don't ask for an explanation, it's just the way it is.
Without further delay, we
offer an account of some of Massachusetts' Chinese restaurants:
The Great Wall, Bedford,
Mass.-- I think the "great wall" is located in the
lobby of the restaurant. They wouldn't tell me when I asked.
A fine buffet highlights this cavernous strip mall establishment,
which probably has a higher population than the Town of Bedford
itself.
Fortune Palace, Peabody,
Mass. -- Everytime I enter this longtime North Shore favorite,
it seems like some elderly couple exits burping with one of them
saying, "You know, honey, this place was pretty good."
Word of mouth is such a powerful medium.
China Ruby -- Maynard, Mass.
-- A good place to meet and complain about life. People come
here to complain about lousy barbers, head colds, crummy kids,
etc. I have no complaints about the food, although I might if
I paid attention to it more than the surrounding complainers.
China Blossom -- North Andover
-- The buffet features Chinese food, American food, ice cream,
unlimited crab legs and so much more. The food is tasty, the
wait staff friendly and the patrons stomping like buffalo en
route to the buffet table. One of the highlights in my life was
whenI once saw a cover band here sing the Beach Boys' "Kokomo."
Jade East - Tewksbury --
Had a bad date here who talked about felonous ex-boyfriends from
Billerica and Wilmington wreaking havoc after stunted high school
hockey careers. This was a blessing, however, as it allowed me
to focus on the well-stocked pu-pu platter. Certainly not great
gourmet quality food, but more a tribute to the bad Chinese food
we knew as children -- which is actually pretty good.
Ah Gin Wong, Ayer, Mass.--
Rumor has it that a cow once came here to eat and had to ask
for a doggy bag. Huge portions, even more huge digestive problems.
It's a great place.
The Kowloon, Saugus, Mass.
-- The Disneyworld of Chinese restaurants. From the Chinese embassy
look of the entrance to the multi colored waterfalls, the Kowloon
pulls out every Chinese restaurant interior design trick in the
book. You would expect the food to be a secondary factor here,
but it is quite good. They even serve decent Thai food! WE LOVE
THE KOWLOON!!!
Mary Chung, Cambridge --
Will never go back. We weren't sure what to order. The waitress
yelled at us to "hurry up." If I wanted to be treated
that way, I would have called SportsRadio WEEI.
Jade Groton , Groton, Mass.
-- To place an order took 20 minutes, to get the food, four.
What a ratio.
Yangtze River, Lexington,
Mass. -- Yangtze River serves average food, but somehow its endearing
atmosphere keeps bringing customers back. Maybe because it is
in upper class Lexington, we say, "Gee, if it's in a town
like this, it must be good." It never is, but, gee, it is
indeed in Lexington. Even the gas stations have a special touch
in that town.
Chopsticks, Leominster, Mass.
-- While on the subject of gas stations, Chopsticks will turn
you into one. I still have some chicken fingers in my digestive
track from 1997.
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